5 Days

Published May 29, 2013 by rebelpet

I wanted to give you a break because it can’t be easy dealing with me. Plus you haven’t seen your family since early last fall and I didn’t want to ruin that. But I’m seriously regretting telling you that I wouldn’t bother you and for you not to think of me for the 5 days. Every night I’ve been dealing with a panic attack and hold in the tears. It hurts so bad, thinking you are mad at me and that you don’t care. I’m so scared that you will say that you only want to be friends. I’m doing my best to keep the depression at bay but I keep hanging on FB and Skype even though I said I prolly wouldn’t. Breadcrumbs, aka pokes, aren’t even enough. I’m not as bad as last year but even a few brief msgs would help. It seems as though I’m a last thought. No contact is killing me. Are you hiding posts from me so that I don’t know? Have you discovered that you love her after all since she is there and you have never met me? Why aren’t you talking to me? My heart feels like its been stomped on. I’m trying to hold on to hope but all these doubts are assailing me. I can’t feel you anymore and I’m so scared….Are you walking away?

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